Twenty-four years ago, a sex scandal threatened to end Bill Clinton’s presidency. While the investigation into his wrongdoing unfolded, Bill denied “having sexual relations with that woman,” despite all the evidence that he’d been intimately involved with that woman—Miss Lewinski. With that, the question of what qualifies as “sex” took center stage in the investigation. Did it matter that there was no intercourse involved? Would it still be sex if Bill and Monica had kept all their clothes on?
The same thing goes for affairs. Does online chatting with a romantic interest constitute cheating, or does there have to be physical contact? What about fantasizing about someone else while canoodling with your partner?
This article will cover the main types of infidelity, discuss what qualifies as cheating, and talk about what you can do if you think your spouse is cheating.
Types of Infidelity
- Micro-cheating
You may not have heard of micro-cheating, but you definitely know about it. Micro-cheating involves things like flirting on social media, maintaining an online profile on a dating site while you’re in a relationship, staying in touch with an ex, or otherwise “keeping your options open.” - Emotional cheating
Couples typically share their most intimate fears, desires, and hopes with each other, but when one of them forms a closer bond with someone outside the relationship, that’s a sign of emotional cheating. Emotional cheating goes beyond platonic friendship in that the cheating person depends on the person they’re cheating with to fulfill the needs that their spouse would generally meet. - Financial cheating
This type of infidelity doesn’t involve a third party, but it does signal a breakdown in a romantic relationship’s trust. Financial infidelity happens when a couple has combined finances, but one spouse has secret accounts, hidden income, debts, or expenditures that the other spouse doesn’t know about. - Cyber cheating
Increasingly common today, cyber cheating takes place entirely online. It might stop at emotional intimacy but can also progress to sexting, sharing private photos, and engaging in intimate video chats. - Physical cheating
Physical cheating is the easiest type to define and spot, covering everything from holding hands to sexual intercourse. Still, not everyone agrees if a playful kiss at a party is infidelity or if a one-night stand at an out-of-town conference is a reason to be concerned. For some people, the intent is essential: did the cheating spouse mean to disrespect their partner, or were they responding reflexively to an attractive person at a party? For others, the intent makes no difference: cheating is cheating.
The bottom line is that cheating depends on your own definition and your own comfort with your partner’s activities. Not everyone is troubled by micro-cheating or cyber-flirting, but some people would end the relationship if they caught their partner in the act. Your own reactions are the best guide to whether you should take action.
What to do if you suspect your spouse is cheating
If you’ve spotted some of the common signs of infidelity in your partner, or if your gut is telling you something’s not right, you need to be honest with yourself: Can you live with the uncertainty, or is it taking up too much space in your head? Can you confront your spouse with your suspicions, or do you want to be sure about the cheating first?
Suppose you feel conflicted but don’t have the information you need to make decisions about your relationship. In that case, you might be interested to know that there are private investigators who specialize in infidelity investigations. That should tell you that this sort of professional investigation is very common. Here’s how a private investigator can help you get more clarity on your situation.
- Surveilling your spouse: watching where they go, who they meet with, and what they do when they’re not with you. This can include GPS tracking of your family vehicles when physical surveillance is not possible.
- Providing you with solid evidence of infidelity: getting high-quality photographic and video evidence of their activities.
- Conducting online surveillance of social media accounts.
- Searching for hidden assets and undisclosed debts.
- Conducting background checks of your spouse or people they are associating with to uncover anything that indicates infidelity.
- Preparing your evidence for presentation at court if you decide to sue your spouse for divorce or child custody.
At Star Quality Private Investigations, we’ve handled hundreds of infidelity cases over our 20+ years in business. We’ve built a solid reputation in the GTA for uncovering the truth for our clients and helping them move forward with their lives. You can be sure that your case will be handled sensitively, with a focus on your comfort and wellbeing. Contact us today to speak with one of our infidelity investigations specialists about how we can get you the answers you need to restore your peace of mind.