Is your gut telling you that your partner is being unfaithful? Even a vague feeling that something isn’t right can knock you off balance. If you’re at this point, you probably want some clarity so you can get back on more secure footing. In this post, we’re sharing some of the tell-tale signs of cheating behaviour in a relationship, and when an Infidelity Investigation led by a Private Investigator may be your best course of action:

The Most Common Signs of Cheating

The first step to getting back to solid ground is to figure out if your spouse is actually cheating – there’s always a chance that there’s another explanation for his or her behaviour, but spotting one or more of these signs may be your cue to take a closer look. Specific things to watch out for are:

• Improvements in appearance, including clothing, grooming, and fitness level.
• Secretive phone or computer use, especially late at night. This could also include changing passwords, using new online identities, deleting texts, clearing their browser history frequently, and staying glued to their cell phone.
• An altered schedule, such as working later or leaving for work earlier, more work-related travel, or more periods when you can’t reach them.
• Mentioning the same person frequently but casually (ex: “Doug has gotten into macrame lately; it seems like fun.”)
• Less emotional intimacy, which may mean that they are sharing their deepest thoughts with someone else. They may also show less interest in day-to-day things related to your life together.
• Greater hostility toward your relationship. They may pick fights with you over minor things or be more angry or critical. They may try to cause problems in the relationship so that they can justify the infidelity.
• Denial, gaslighting, or projection when you confront them about the cheating. If they deny an affair, they might give numerous, over-the-top reasons why they would never cheat on you. They may also try to tell you that you’re “crazy” for thinking that way, or they may turn the situation around on you, accusing you of cheating on them.
• Elaborate stories about their whereabouts during gaps in their schedule. They may offer detailed accounts about where they were and what they were doing, even when you didn’t ask them.

There’s no one sure sign of cheating: someone can show all these signs and be completely innocent, or show none of these signs and still be cheating. Some of the signs are also paradoxical: either too much or too little of the behaviour could indicate infidelity. For example, a cheating spouse could be cruel and hostile, but they might also be overly attentive and kind in order to disguise the infidelity.

Accusing a spouse of cheating based on a collection of signs alone can be detrimental to a relationship, especially if your suspicions are wrong. The only proof of a cheating spouse is hard evidence. That’s where we come in.

How a Private Investigator Can Help

If you’re overwhelmed with suspicion and doubt, hiring a Private Investigator may help you feel more stable. A Private Investigator can secure evidence of the infidelity that you may not be able to. For example, they can conduct undercover surveillance on your spouse without being detected, and they can take professional 4K photos and video that will provide you with the definitive proof that your spouse is engaging in a relationship or is being intimate with someone who isn’t you.

They can also track your spouse’s movements using GPS and provide you with detailed timelines to show where your spouse was when, and for how long.  A good Private Investigator will also approach your case with empathy—you’ll have someone in your corner when you need them the most.

When to Hire a Private Investigator

There’s never a wrong time to get help, but here are a few things to think about when you’re considering your next move:

• Are you ready for what may be exposed through your Infidelity Investigation? Hopefully, they won’t find any evidence that your spouse is cheating, but you need to be prepared for news that confirms your fears. While certainty may bring you relief, you may also have reactions you don’t expect. (Learn more about what you can expect in the Infidelity Aftermath)
• Are you planning to divorce? If you want to apply for a divorce citing infidelity as your reason, you will need solid, legally obtained evidence that is suitable for use within a court of law. Your gut feeling will not be enough for the court, so you will want to go in with a case that doesn’t leave room for doubt. Private Investigators specializing in Family Law can not only provide you with the high-quality evidence you need within your divorce case, but they can also provide witness testimony of any infidelity.
• Are your suspicions and negative feelings taking over your life? Are they affecting your mental or physical health? Even if divorce is not your end game, getting answers and finding clarity is a good enough reason to hire a Private Investigator. This will help you make informed decisions about the future, armed with facts.

Nobody can tell you what the right thing is for you, but the experts at Star Quality Private Investigators are here to discuss your options. Every case we handle is unique and highly customized, and you can be assured that we’ll deal with yours with sensitivity and the utmost discretion. As trusted leaders in Relationship & Infidelity Investigations since 1998, we are dedicated to helping you get the answers you need, want, and deserve.