Nothing breaks up Winter’s chill like the notorious February holiday dedicated to sappy, sugar-coated displays of affection. And don’t forget the flowers, chocolates, and velvet covered boxes filled with sparkle for your lover…or lovers?
Valentine’s Day may bring some couples closer together, but for many, it’s also a day tainted with distraught partners who discover that they are not the only ones being wooed by their Cupid. It’s no surprise that February has long been the busiest month of the year for Private Investigation Teams across the country.
Toronto’s Infidelity Investigation Experts at Star Quality Private Investigations® share the facts behind the Valentine’s Day surge in investigation activity, and how their expertise and services can help suspicious and troubled partners find the peace of mind they’re looking for.
The Psychology Behind It All
While it is commonly presumed that those involved in affairs are looking exclusively for sexual satisfaction, in reality, it often evolves into a deeper connection. What may start as a physical connection with an affair partner, can become more meaningful, especially if the other lover is able to provide emotional benefits that may be lacking in the marriage. What it all boils down to is the fulfillment of unmet needs. The satisfaction of these needs, whether physical or emotional, can make a cheater feel more “balanced”. That is why it’s so hard for many to break the infidelity cycle, no matter heavy the burden of guilt may be.
Climbing Up in The Ranks
As these affair partners bring more meaning to the lives of a cheater over time, they begin to spend an equal (or in some cases, even greater) amount of time, energy, and money on this side relationship – this becomes glaringly obvious on Valentine’s Day.
Infamous intermarital dating website, Ashley Madison, reported that almost a third of cheaters will spend Valentine’s Day with their “side piece”. The holiday may have in the past been reserved for a spouse, but as the affair of the heart intensifies, the cheater may choose to forge a new tradition, devoting equal time to each lover. Isabella Mise, Director of Communications at Ashley Madison comments on how this can lead to some precarious juggling on behalf of a cheater:
“The only problem (well, aside from the obvious), of course, is that these new “traditions” come with a strategic balancing act (meaning, the cheater could be having dinner with their spouse and dessert with their affair partner, and likely having to “work late.”).”
Private Investigators will advise you to keep an eye out in the days before or directly after a holiday, like Valentine’s Day or Christmas. Chances are the cheater will attempt to celebrate the occasion with the side piece but will try to discreetly work around the holiday. That business trip that just happens to fall around February 14th, may deserve a second glance.
Whether they admit it or not, all individuals engaged in a relationship anticipate the lavish gift that accompanies Valentine’s Day. Interestingly, cheaters will tend to spend just as much on a gift for their lover as they will on their spouse. The difference, however, is what this money is buying. Generally, the spouse will receive some sort of gift, or a dinner out, while the funds will be spent on a hotel room or a romantic getaway for the lover. Or, in some cases, the same gift in a different size:
“In one case, we had woman call us about a week before Valentine’s Day voicing her suspicions that her husband, a banker, was cheating. She found, stashed in the closet, a gift addressed to her containing a set of lingerie that was about 6 sizes too small. After 15 years of marriage, she felt confident that he knew her size, and her gut feeling told her that something was off. Our surveillance team tracked the banker and collected footage of him at a dinner with another woman, opening a set of gifted lingerie that – you guessed it – was 6 sizes too large. The whole Valentine’s Day juggling act that cheaters play, will often unravel at some point, and we’re there to catch it when it does!”
Adrianne F | Director, Star Quality Private Investigations®
For many of the suspicious partners who seek the guidance of a Private Investigator around Valentine’s Day, they were tipped off by a receipt from an expensive dinner, hotel room, or lavish purchase. The cheater may have had the foresight to use cash (to prevent evidence of a charge on a credit card statement) but they then carelessly stuff the receipt into a jacket pocket, where it’s later found.
Another tip from the experts: cheaters who have already been courting a lover on the side tend to ramp up the communication with their lovers around Valentine’s day, leaving behind a trail of emails, texts, or message exchanges. This technology trail is even harder to conceal amid lockdown measures as partners isolating together are in frequent view of each other’s screens. Some cheaters will attempt to disguise the name of a lover as someone of the opposite sex to deter suspicion, but if your gut is telling you that something is fishy about the sudden uptick in messages from “Steven” or “Stephanie”, it may be time to dig a little deeper.
It’s Not All Black Roses!
SQPI’s team confirmed that despite the despair and devastation felt by so many individuals upon seeing evidence of their cheating Casanova, sometimes infidelity investigations reveal the best in a suspected partner, disproving any allegations of cheating activity.
“In one case, we were approached by a man concerned that his much younger partner would be tempted to cheat while on a work retreat in the same city where her ex-boyfriend resided. This was one case where we were happy to return to our client empty handed, without any evidence of infidelity.”
Adrianne F | Director, Star Quality Private Investigations®
Faith in the relationship was regained, right in time for Valentine’s Day.
In our line of work, we stress to our clients the importance of the ever-knowing gut feeling. Whether during Valentine’s Day, or any day of the year, if you’re looking for peace of mind to prove or disprove that sinking feeling that you’re sharing your partner with someone else, reach out to Toronto’s leading Infidelity Investigation Experts. Call Star Quality Private Investigations® today at 416 884 5100.